As we start getting ready for 2026 burnout is something we need to consider, not just in online dating, but with life in general. It feels like people are burnt out on their work, their friends, and what’s going on in the world around them. It is no wonder that trying to add finding love onto the list causes so many people stress and anxiety.
I’m not going to lie to you and say that online dating is all skittles and rainbows. You know it’s not true, and I know it’s not true. Instead, I want to present a different approach and a different mindset than what most people bring to the dating process. If you can do this, I think you’ll not only survive using dating apps, but you will have a much better chance at success.
DO LESS.
That’s it. There’s a good chance that you’re doing too much or wasting energy on all the wrong things when it comes to online dating. This doesn’t mean that you should slack off and become a passive dater. It just means that knowing how and where to spend your energy can make all the difference in your success.
Step 1: Kiss the Numbers Game Goodbye — Avoid Online Dating Burnout Early
For generations, we’ve been trained to believe that dating is a numbers game and that you need to kiss 100 frogs to find your prince or princess. I’m telling you, that is a pile of hot garbage. Forcing yourself to go on tons of dates on the off chance one of them could be “the one,” is the quickest road to burnout. Every bad first date you go on makes you a little less excited about going on the next. Eventually, a K-Drama on Netflix and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s start to look a lot more exciting than heading back out to kiss another frog.
Your goal shouldn’t be people you think you might enjoy a first date with; it should be people who sound like the kind of person you could picture going on a tenth date with. This means attraction to the other person only serves one purpose: Helping you decide if you want to read their profile. Attraction is vital to connection. We are visual creatures. So, if you aren’t attracted to them, there’s no reason to read their profile. However, just being attracted to them isn’t a justification for messaging them or swiping right. There needs to be something more in their profile.
(If you’re unsure your dating photos are helping you attract the right matches, read our photo tips for men and photo tips for women…they’ll save you time and frustration.)
“But Eric, what if they look great, but there isn’t anything for me to work with in their profile?” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve gotten this question, I’d have a much nicer car right now. You already know the answer, you just usually don’t want to hear it. If there’s nothing in their profile for you to connect with, move on to the next profile. It doesn’t matter how attractive they are. There will be other people who you think are hot, AND with whom you’d want to have a conversation.
If there isn’t something in their profile you’d actually want to converse with them about, move on. All relationships are conversations. If they’ve either not given you enough info in their profile to show they are, or what they’ve given you isn’t something that interests you, they are not the droid you are looking for.
Step 2: Set a Timer for Sanity — Mindful Dating App Tips That Work
One of the names they use behind the scenes for dating apps is “user engagement engine,” and it is exactly what it sounds like. The corporations behind dating apps know that the more time you spend on a dating app, the more money you will spend and the more money your actions may inspire others to spend. That’s fine, but I’m a lot more concerned with your success and your emotional well-being than their stock prices.
Online dating is a great tool, but even great things need to be used in moderation. Overuse of dating apps (especially swipe-based apps) have been clinically proven to increase depression and anxiety. The NIH proved that in their 2020 Study on The Effects of Swipe-Based Dating on Mental Health. It all boils down to one main thing. Taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do to increase your chances of online dating success.
The great thing is, this big problem has a simple solution. Set a timer. Do not spend more than 10 minutes a day looking at profiles on any given app. If you are looking at multiple dating apps, I would limit it to 7-minutes per app. These companies hook you with the idea that your happy ending could be just one more swipe away, and leaving now means you could miss them forever. That’s not reality, it’s just marketing. Set a timer on your phone, and turn off the app when it beeps. This will not only keep you from falling down the rabbit hole, but it will also make sure you bring a little more mindfulness to reviewing profiles. CoffeeMeetsBagel gets it. They limit free users to looking at two profiles per day, and paid users to six. It forces you to slow down and avoid mindless swiping.
Step 3: Limit the Number of Dating Apps — Smarter Online Dating Advice for 2026
The average online dater uses two to three dating apps, but I get calls every day from people using four or five. There is no reason for this. First, it turns your dating life into a part-time job. The only difference is that you are the one paying. The only person who should be spending that much time on dating apps is me. Second, it’s emotionally exhausting. This isn’t a case of the more time you spend, the better your chances. It is more like the more time you spend, the worse you feel and the greater the chance that you’ll mindlessly swipe past someone who could be a great date. Third, it isn’t even useful. There are over 10,000 dating apps out there, but only a handful that are worth your time. When you consider that most people are already using multiple apps, you are just increasing your odds of seeing the same people over and over again.
I recommend that most singles under 35 stick to something like Tinder, CMB, or possible an app like Bumble or Duet. Not all of them. Pick two and stick with them. For singles over 35, I would combine one swipe app with one traditional app like Match, OKC, or eHarmony. The only real exception to these rules are when you are looking for something hyper specific: Christian singles to ChristianMingle, Jewish singles to JDate, Muslim Singles to Muzmatch, Disney super fans to MouseMingle, farmers Farmersonly, etc… Even when that is the case, I would still make that one of the two apps you use. More work doesn’t mean better results. It just means more work.
Step 4: Stop Buying Useless App Features — Save Money, Save Your Mind
There are some dating apps you can use for free like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge, and somewhere you have to pay to participate like Match, Raya, eHarmony, Elitesingles, and ChristianMingle. However, regardless of which type of app you are on, all of them have ways for you to spend more money. Don’t do it. Spend that extra cash on an ice cream, a cup of coffee, or you could even do something useful like toss it towards debt or put it into your 401k. Hell, just give it to an animal shelter. At least it can help the puppies.
I’m talking about things like boosts, compliments, roses, and super likes. These are all features that came to the dating industry through gamification. As soon as dating companies saw how much money people would spend for skins, special weapons, and power buffs in video games, they knew they could port the idea over to romance. The idea is simple, for just $1, you could (potentially) increase your chances of finding love! There are only a couple problems with that. First, it is very easy to get hooked into the gambling mentality. When that happens, one dollar becomes two, becomes five, and so on. You are spending good money to chase after the money you already spent. I’ve talked to people who have spent hundreds of dollars on dating app microtransactions. It just isn’t worth it.
Second, they don’t actually work. Sure, you get the initial buzz of feeling like you are being proactive, but I’ve never seen any statistical proof that any of these features actually increases your success. They are there because dating apps know the cost is so small that you’ll spend it on impulse. It is a profit mechanism, not a dating success mechanism.
My great uncle Morty used to always tell me, “save yourself.” It sounds like a selfish statement, but it isn’t. Think about the last time you rode on an airplane. During the safety spiel, they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your child. It’s not because Southwest hates kids, it’s because if you pass out while getting the mask for your child, you’re both in a world of trouble. Taking two seconds to save yourself is what gives you the ability to be there for the people who need you, and for the people you want to meet.
Dating sites are great tools, but they are only as good as the way you use them. You can either use them efficiently and healthily, or you can dive down the rabbit hole, spend too much on microtransactions, and make the corporations a ton of money while you burn yourself out. Which sounds better to you?
If you need help writing a great profile, picking out the right profile pics, or even just trying to figure out where to start, give me a call at 888-447-7634 or send me a message. I’ll do whatever I can to help. Ready to make this easy? Explore our Dating Profile Writing Service or get quick feedback with a Profile Picture Review. (Real talk: a great profile prevents online dating burnout and makes every minute you spend on apps count.)
