Artificial Intelligence is one of the hottest topics in the world right now. People want to know how they can use to make their lives easier. They want to see what it can do for them when it comes to creating images and videos. They are even talking about how it could be used to generate deepfake videos and false news stories to trick people. While a lot of that is way over my head, I have also seen it come up a lot within the topic of online dating.
People are trying to use ChatGPT to write their dating profiles, or they are hiring profile writing services that use AI to write their profiles. They are even using AI to try and improve their profile pics and to come up with clever messages they can send to prospective matches.
Over the last few months, I have fielded hundreds of calls and emails from clients about using AI to write my dating profiles. Some people are afraid we will use it and others are hoping we will. I’ve had clients send me profiles they created through ChatGPT for a free profile assessment. I’ve also had clients send me profiles for a second opinion that they paid other profile writing services for, only for them to be shocked to find out that the profiles were written by AI.
With that in mind, I have to admit that this post might not live up to its title. If you came here determined to use AI to write your dating profile, and you were hoping I would tell you how, this isn’t going to be the blog post for you. However, if you are thinking about using AI on your dating profile, profile pics, or even to help you come up with messages, this blog post is hopefully reaching you before you shoot yourself in the foot and blow your chances with some amazing men and women who could have fallen for the real you.
Why you should not use AI to write my dating profile
I will be honest with you. AI can help you write a better profile than some of the horrible profiles that people post on dating apps. But, does that mean AI can write a great profile? No. It just means that it can write a less bad profile. AI lacks important things like nuance and judgment. It just takes information you feed it and spits out what you’ve asked. It can’t listen to the tone of your voice to hear what is really important to you. Not only that, but it doesn’t think to go deeper on subjects so that you can give them the context they need to be meaningful to the reader. Worst of all, it doesn’t have the judgment to know what type of information belongs in a profile and what doesn’t.
Even when they are “conversational” in tone, AI-created profiles have a rigidness to them that makes the profile feel more like a sales pitch than a window into your world. AI believes that the goal of a great dating profile is to prove that you deserve the attention of the reader. It doesn’t know that when you try to sell yourself, it just makes people wonder why you don’t have the confidence to think people would want you.
To illustrate my point, I went to OpenAI’s ChatGPT and asked it to write a dating profile. Let’s look at the AI-generated Tinder profile I asked ChatGPT to write, and then we’ll go over all the reasons this is a bad profile. If you are curious about the appropriateness of some of the things I included, I placed a few things in the profile as tests to see how AI would handle them.
AI-Generated Tinder Profile
I started with Tinder to see how ChatGPT handled a short profile for a swipe app. It is very easy to look at what it generated and think, “I’ve seen much worse on Tinder.” You have. There are a lot of bad profiles on Tinder. Heck, there are a lot of bad profiles on dating apps in general. That is why I started ProfileHelper, to help people make great first impressions.
Let’s break down this AI-generated dating profile to see what is wrong with it.
Tone:
– The profiles are very stiff. The first draft starts with a formal greeting and ends with the conclusion of a sales pitch. When I asked the AI to shorten the profile, it made it even stiffer by dividing it up into two labeled sections “about me” and “looking for.”
– They sound needy. By focusing so heavily on boasting your qualities, this profile makes it feel like you are trying to convince the reader to like you.
– They lack context. Every detail you include is a chance to create a connection. Giving those details the context they need is not something AI understands. It might say you like cooking or love reading comics, but it doesn’t ask what kind of food you love to cook or what comics you read. These may seem like small distinctions, but they can be the difference between your profile getting passed over or catching someone’s eye.
Profile Length:
The maximum allowed length of a Tinder profile is 500 characters, but that is much longer than it should be. A great Tinder profile should be between 150–250 characters. If it is much longer than that, people won’t read it. Tinder was designed to be a fast-moving video, date-hunting, video game.
While I was able to ask ChatGPT to reduce the length of the profile, it was only able to do so by making it even more generic in tone.
Appropriateness:
I’ll admit it. I laid plenty of traps for ChatGPT to see if the AI can gauge what is and is not appropriate in a dating profile. Likewise, I’ll also admit that it fared better than I expected. By leaving out my note about looking for someone who “would not cheat on me,” ChatGPT sidestepped the biggest red flag that I had planted for it.
With that said, it included several others that involve more subtle judgment. For instance, it might seem natural to ask for honesty and loyalty, but those are some of the basic building blocks of a healthy relationship. If you have to ask for them, people wonder what baggage you are still working through from your past relationships.
Lastly, and this is a tip for the guys reading this article, no woman wants to read that you are looking for someone sexy. They already know that you are looking for someone that you find attractive. Spelling it out in your profile makes you look superficial.
I realize that there are still going to be a lot of people who think that ChatGPT is the magic bullet they’ve been looking for to create a great profile. So, I went to the source and asked the AI why its profiles are so generic and superficial. Here’s what it told me:
AI can only take the information you give it. It doesn’t know how to get you to reveal the more interesting and unique details about you. It tries to make your profile appealing to everyone when your audience isn’t everyone. A good profile helps draw in the right people and drive away everyone else. This isn’t just about getting you a bunch of first dates. This is about helping you find a relationship. Lastly, just look at its words: “While I can understand and incorporate basic psychological principles, I lack the ability to deeply understand the complex emotions and personal experiences that make each person unique.”
Conclusion
In the end, if you are struggling to create a great profile, ChatGPT and other AI services feel like an easy way to create a great profile. It might indeed create a better profile for you than what you have. But, it doesn’t have the ability and nuance to make your profile feel unique. Profiles that don’t help you shine through get passed over. There are certain things that humans are still better at than AI. Online Dating Profile Writing Services is one of them.
If you are struggling with your online dating profile, aren’t sure why you are failing at online dating, or just aren’t sure how to get started, talk to me. You can give me a toll-free call at 888-447-7634 ext 1, or you can contact me HERE.
Also, don’t forget to check out part two of this blog, where we explore why you shouldn’t use AI to enhance your profile pics or get help to send messages on dating apps.
